my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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