I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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