All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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