I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
