It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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