matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
