somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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