3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The ass gains better be worth it
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