I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
