Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
