Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
