so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I would fuck him just for his dog
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
