Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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