is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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