I wish I could teleport
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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