i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
