it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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