dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
