I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Your dad touched me again.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
