Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
