He felt like a one man threesome
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need moral support for this bender
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
that may or may not have been my penis.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize