Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
