too bad you live with your parents still
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
