Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
