If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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