Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Of course I have a pirate flag
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize