I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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