It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
