I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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