Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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