im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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