Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
