Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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