wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
