Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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