New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
