one might say we're banned from that church
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
