I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
