Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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