Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
