Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
