I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
