considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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