Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
