Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
