what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize