don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
