Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
