tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
