I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His hands were made for my vagina.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
