Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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