All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
