Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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