i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
