I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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