fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
