The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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