Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
