shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
