does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
