so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's rum buckets o'clock
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
