Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
