She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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