I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
