come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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