i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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