I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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