We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
