Christians are straight up FREAKS
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
