Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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