I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
God, I missed his penis.
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