i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
